You are sooooo good lookin'!

Why do we still say, "God bless you," when people sneeze? I think it's safe to say, here in the year 2012, that we know for sure that your soul is not escaping when you sneeze.... Or, at least, I am sure of that.

We don't say, "God bless you," when people fart. No, "May the lord be with you," when you burp. Actually, I think it would be frickin' hilarious to say, "May the lord be with thou!" when someone farts. Bonus points if it's a complete stranger.

But really, this god bless you thing has started making me uncomfortable. When people sneeze in my waiting room, and I say nothing, sometimes they give me a look. What do you want from me? You want me to acknowledge your bodily function? Really? Why?

When I sneeze, I don't really want to talk about. I don't need a god bless you. I don't need acknowledgement. It's kinda weird when people do respond. Do I say thank you? I once caught myself saying, "You too!" after a god bless you from a stranger in the grocery store. They didn't bat an eye, lending some proof to my hypothesis that people don't even think about it when people sneeze: they just blurt out the usual.

I was thinking of that Seinfield episode the other day, where Elaine is also annoyed with god bless you, and so they start saying, "You are soooooo good lookin'!" when people sneeze. Since I had someone with a cold in the office, I tried it out. I just got a blank stare in return.

I think I'll just stick with dead silence from now on.

The Office Hardware Specialist II

"Why is the copier all open like this?"

"It's jammed, and it's cooling. Don't touch it."

"Nah, it's working!" Closes copier access doors. "Look!"

"No! Don't touch it! There's paper jammed in there."

"Workin' fine!" Presses copy button.

Copier makes funny noise, fan comes on, fan dies.

"...And now there are two pieces of paper jammed in there..."


I guess I didn't know what I was talking about?
Now I'm off to un-jam the jammed-much-worse-than-before copier...